(no subject)
duckforian
tossed & turned all night
i guess i forgot how to sleep
here are some times i read on my phone last night...
11:00pm
12:26am
1:43am
2:56am
3:38am
4:19am
5:45am
6:19am
then i got out my computer and gave up
i'm blaming the lack of sleep on quitting cigarettes
i stopped smoking wednesday
i stopped sleeping thursday

i'm trying to turn some things around right now
but the 2 angels that alternate on my shoulder are gone
now there's only the devil
and i can't hang

i never thought i'd still need someone to take my hand and guide me at 31
sometimes i feel so pathetic

(no subject)
duckforian
you wanna be left alone
and it's so hard for me to play it cool right now
you need it
i can't handle it
i don't need the attention
i just want to hear from you
it helps me get through my day
it calms me down
it cheers me up

it's 5 something am sunday and i'm drinking tea in bed
like i've done a hundred times before
i wonder if i'll be able to work a nap into my schedule
or maybe i can just power through and go to bed super early
it doesn't even matter
i have nothing to do today
sometimes that's the best thing in the world

ok that's all i got
i kinda forgot how i used to do this all the time
guess i gotta baby step back into it

(no subject)
duckforian
here's a flier joe drew for the gig next sunday
gigflier
CHIT CHAT is now playing it as well
they originally were replacing AMOEBAS due to them not having a drummer
but now kirk from NEO CONS is gonna fill in for them so it's a 5 band bill

i've kinda been going through one of those life sux kinda phases as of late
my dr. just upped my anti-depressants so hopefully things will be better soon
yesterday was pretty cool though
hard to imagine considering i was in ann arbor where i rarely have fun these days
ricky's new band (RADIANT MARKS) w/jules & kevin played their first show
THE Q, CHIT CHAT, and BAD INDIANS all played too
i got very very and was generally happy
i think next sunday will be a good time too
i just need to distract myself from thinking about my life
i need to make more mixtapes for crushes so i can feel cool for a minute
before the actual crush sets in

(no subject)
duckforian
SERIOUS WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!!?
WHO GIVES A FUCK THAT MC5 LIVED AT LUTHER?
EVERY FUCKING SHOW OR PARTY IT'S ALWAYS MENTIONED
"MAN YA GONNA COME TO THE GIG TONIGHT?"
"I DUNNO MAN KINDA STRUNG OUT"
"BUT THE MC5 USED TO LIVE AT THE HOUSE"
"HOLY FUCK MAN I HOPE I OD THERE"
FUCK YOU ANN ARBOR
FUCK THE MC5'S HOUSE 40 YEARS AGO

i'm not punk
duckforian
ok
i have once again reached that point in my life where 24 hour is amazing
i mean a couple of the first 6 are still rough listens
i mean how many times have you heard boxcar?
and ashtray monument?

ashtray monument is kinda like a precursor to save your generation
atleast in my head right now
and west bay invitational is a pre-bad scene
even though west bay is a total bivouac song
but it's on 24 hour
and it might be my favorite
or rather the best
they all have their time and place
maybe this is just west bay's time for me

maybe cuz it doesn't tie my to a person or place
or if it did i forgot

condition oakland belongs to emma lee from rosa
she once made me a mixtape where the whole b-side was condition oakland on repeat

do you still hate me? has had many different meanings/times
but the mixtape i'll never make/send owns it

and jinx removing...
...oh jinx removing
perfect
sam jones!!
arquimedes!!!
marlee!!!!
and on...and on...

there is another rant i could go on right now about giving my cassette copy of 24 hour to arquimedes and years later having the very cassette (still holding the magazine clipping i put inside the artwerk in 1997) end up back at my house in a touring bands tape deck in their van. it would have stretched that out for like 20 more lines.

hah

i can't pick up my pencil...
duckforian
things are changing
it's getting to be the 25th episode of twin peaks in my life
only a few left before everything goes crazy
i have been coughing all day
my throats been fucked since i woke up on sunday
haven't drank since saturday night
haven't smoked since monday night
i feel pretty alright
except i'm having that talk with myself where i wonder what the fuck i'm doing
cuz i don't leave the house all that much
and i talk myself outta going to shows
i've been super lazy
and stupid
i am sick of putting on shows
and putting out records
and drinking
and being bored

ugggh
this weekend i am finally gonna get these mixes done
they're pretty much ready to go
just gotta make some artwerk
big packages going to CT/NYC/GR on monday

grocery shopping is my #1 weekend priority
giving paul money for the car is #2
and that's about it
no d'mongos
no stupid purchases
well maybe some ice cream

golf terminology
duckforian
typical monday night dangle fest
at the freakers
"look under the dash"
basement couch is gonna be nasty
maybe i'll crash upstairs tonight
"goin' down in the woods" - morgan
"this is one of the nicest times i've ever had"
"behave yourself"
this movie is awesome
morgan concurs
"her teeth are pretty awesome" - caitlin
"slob it" - cailtlin
"you gonna tease me all night?...or will i get a little action"

dude
this movie
"ok sure" - caitlin
DOG STYLE

orgasm
rope neck
"this scene is great she's having sex with a dead guy" - morgan
"i gotta see a man about a dog"

"cute screams" - caitlin

cheeto dust
duckforian
i knew these $.99 cheese balls were gonna be bad when i bought them
but FUCK!!!!!!
uggghhh
i can't believe i am going to eat this whole bag today
sometimes i am so dumb

everyone is outta town this weekend
well my roommates and their girlfriends are
so i'm feeding 2 cats and some fish and a bunny
i'm gonna get some free tacos when they get back which rules
i've been laying around the house in my boxers all weekend
going to the bathroom with the door open
sleeping on the futon in the living room
such a great weekend so far
and it's just gonna get better
BBQ tomorrow for lindsay/joe's bdays
and radiator hospital is playing down the street
and i don't have to be back at werk til tuesday

i cannot stop listening to katie crutchfield
king everything/p.s. eliot/bad banana/waxahatchee
and reading her blog
i am crushing on her so hard
i really need to see her perform this summer
it's on my list right behind seeing MILK MUSIC
which is happening june 21st w/puffy areolas & tcallers

bill is wiggin out on a flower right now
i hope he tires himself out and takes another nap

i see another one...
duckforian
my computer is fixed
there are a bunch of little ants on my floor right now
well not a ton but i killed like 15
in the past 20 minutes
i wonder if they're coming in my open window?
i can't really figure out where they are coming from
i'll investigate more in the morning
i need to sweep and my usual OCD cleaning rant i do on days off

i just stopped and cleaned up a little bit

so yeah my computer is back
still tryna track down all the music i lost
and start werkin on mixes again
got my stamp set in the mail finally
so i've been pretty productive the past 5 or so days
despite a day long hangover
and a lupitas food coma
and the spits blowing my fuckstack back to the stone age
did i say the stone age?
cuz i meant the ice age
and 20 hours of werk

i cannot wait to wake up tomorrow
i got nothing to do and all day to do it
i don't even care if it thunderstorms like they say it will
i can keep busy inside with my stamps
and postcards
and mixes
and cereal
well i'll need to pick up a couple 2-liters
but that's it
doesn't matter what happens
as long as it's not werk

go put it in a washing machine...
duckforian
i have been so outta the game lately
my computer is still dead but i just picked up what i need to hopefully fix it again
the uzi rash lp still isn't out
so many problems on my end
lack of motivation
money
being stupid
not caring

i am so fucking over putting out records but i probably wont stop for a while
cuz i mean who'd put a tcallers lp?
plus bands like bogue millionaires & radiator hospital still make me happy
they remind me why i do what i do
and sandy city & top surprise too!
and MILK MUSIC
and the song "pilgrim" by four eyes
that fucking song is my life lately

but i should probably stop soon
it's about time i invest in a real stereo
like nice shit
i don't wanna be all old and jaded like all my old and jaded friends
but i wanna just have some shit that werks and sounds good
cuz right now everything at the house is broke
ricky's duel cassette deck
the deaf person tape player i bought
even dank's old shitty boombox finally shit the bed
been tryna dub a milk music cassette for like 2 weeks so i can listen on my walkman
no luck

marlee grace cook-parrott is still inspiring me
her baby bro ain't too shabby either
we gotta garden going at the house
i still need to plant some swiss chard
probably saturday?
i need to order some new white bok' this weekend
and figure out when gary wilson tickets go on sale
and give paul money towards the car
and get shitheaded at d'mongo's
plus a bunch of rad shows

let's see...
what else?

i got really sick last week
and the week before
sinus infection i think
servo visited again
i was really busy and sick though
and outta it
and just lame
i felt like a terrible host
everyone moved outta ann st.
most are back on lawrence
i missed lawrence
still haven't seen k9 sniffies
still haven't jammed with soph
lindsay acker does really exist
diag ban is still a thing
lupitas still rules
i have been at fuckdeli for over 12 hours now
i gotta get the fuck outta here

i should have my computer werking again this week so i'll be back soon...

?

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